Karl Pilkington - Pilkipedia
Karl Pilkington, from the Ricky Gervais radio show and podcasts, truly is a font of all wisdom. To rival Wikipedia, there's Pilkipedia.
Some of my favourites:
Seals would probably not be missed if they became extinct, because they are "already between a fish and a dog". He also fails to see why seals continue to "hang about" in the Arctic - "Why aren't seals going 'Do you know what - it's cold, I'm sick of it here, it's windy all the time and whathaveyou... and I'm getting a club on the head'?"
Karl believes that because jellyfish are 97% water, we should "give 'em another three percent and make 'em water - it's more useful".
He would not like to meet his doppelganger because "how would I know which one I was?".