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I want an inflatable pub. Although ideally I'd like it to fold up small enough to carry.
The Worlds First Inflatable Pub!
This is great, I assume it comes with inflatable girls, but what about inflatable friends, who then get into an inflatable punch-up with an inflatable punter?
Will there be inflatable vomit on the floor?
posted by 
: April 05, 2006 2:12 PM
The Daily Telegraph Fantasy Football password for Wednesday 29th March is Blank.
Officers have stopped using skates to patrol London's Royal Parks, reportedly after problems chasing people on grass.
That wasn't particularly well thought then. Also, if the Daleks ever invaded they'd be the only ones who couldn't get away.
BBC NEWS | England | London | Brakes put on police skate team
Horoscopes for the week starting Monday 27th March 2006:
On Thursday you may have a strange deja vu experience involving a bag of Walkers crisps. This kind of thing never used to happen with Golden Wonder. Those were the days.
Did you remember the clocks went forward on Saturday night or did you come into work an hour late this morning like a complete Muppet? I think we both know the answer to that.
If you're near the South Pole this week you better watch out for the hole in the ozone layer. If you're not careful, you'll fall through it and out of the bottom of the planet.
Try to learn a new word each day this week, but rather than learning an obscure one make it a really obvious one that everyone else knows but you've never quite picked up because you're a bit thick.
Leo's who work in big organisations this week will thrive. It's not a week to be an individual, it's a week to be a worker ant as part of a hive mind. However, if you start to grow an exoskeleton and carrying sugar around you've taken this too far.
You should avoid going out this week if you think you've got a cracked rib. It's just asking for trouble. And yes, I mean you.
Try making something nice out of crepe paper this week, and try not to wonder why crepe paper isn't made of pancakes.
They say curiosity killed the cat but that's no reason to sit in your back bedroom window with an air rifle waiting for one to nose around your garden.
On Wednesday you'll see a cloud that looks a lot like an animal, but no-one else will be able to see it. And then you'll see an animal that looks like a cloud. That's a sheep.
Nothing's going to happen to you this week. You will just be an innocent bystander in the play of life, which isn't too bad as you could do with the break.
You finished the last of your birthday cake last week, which is a bit of a blow. You'll need to find a new snack to tide you over until lunch.
Although you may well find work a struggle this week, try not to punch anyone. I know it's hard but it really won't do any good. If this advice doesn't get through, then the stars show you looking for a new job in the near future.
A man with no arms has been caught speeding at 121 km/h (75 mph), according to police in New Zealand.
BBC NEWS | World | Asia-Pacific | Armless man caught speeding in NZ
I've just taken my bike to Bike Shack on Leyton High road and came away well impressed. I only had a broken gear cable, which it turns out was all mashed up inside the mechanism because of where it had snapped, but it was fixed while I was there in around 20 minutes and at a total cost of £7.
Bike Shack bicycle repairs, Leyton
I live in Watford
posted by : April 05, 2006 2:02 PM
Hi, this is Rai from the Bike Shack in Leyton. I would like to thank you for your positive comment on our store and always welcome feedback from our customers, whether it be positive or negative. It gives us an idea of what our customers expect from us and where they believe we are doing well.
Rai
posted by Rai McLaren : August 18, 2006 1:38 PM
You don't see many of these around, not even in central London. Note the parking ticket on the windscreen - perhaps the owner has enough money to pay it?
I should coco. That's an Enzo, £1,000,000 of motor car.
posted by Bealers : March 27, 2006 8:18 AM
Looks like a kit car to me. Probably made of fibreglass and cost around £1500, with the engine of an old VW beetle.
posted by : March 27, 2006 8:57 PM
theres no way in hell thats a kit car ...i think thats the reall thing... its an aniversary car, made by ferrari, it was named after the guy that started the compaany ... "enzo ferrari" was his name...
posted by : August 13, 2007 7:56 PM
Don't be stupid Gingerbird. That is an Enzo, official Ferrari anniversary car. They were only going to build 399, but I think for some reason they built 400. That is NOT a kit car. That is, like bealers said, one million pounds worth of Ferrari.
posted by : June 01, 2008 11:20 PM
I think someone didn't buy the "sense of humour" accessory...
posted by : June 18, 2008 5:17 PM
The Daily Telegraph Fantasy Football password for Wednesday March 22nd until Tuesday March 28th is PRICE.
Telegraph Fantasy Football login
Cheers Bunyan. You saved my life and made Paul's even worse.
posted by Bun Face : March 24, 2006 3:29 PM
thanks for your assistance on this one les cirencester
posted by : August 31, 2006 8:03 PM
I want to go to a restaurant with a menu like this: Translation at its best
Well, I had to get into the spirit of things, and with a free hat for four pints of Guinness...
Horoscopes for the week starting Monday 20th March 2006:
If you're having guests around in the second half of the week make sure you clean up all the crips crumbs which are all down the sides of the sofa. It's not pleasant to sit down with a crunch.
If you happen to play for Sunderland Football Club, this would be a good time to start looking ahead to the summer transfer window. If you live in Sunderland, move.
The clocks going forward on Sunday will be especially confusing this year, and you'll feel even more cheated out of that hour of sleep than usual. Think of it as a savings account where you get the hour back in October and it won't seem to bad.
You may wake up on Tuesday not knowing where you are. Hopefully it's just temporary and you're not a kidnap victim, but don't get into any strange cars on Monday night just to be sure.
It'll be one of those weeks where you find out lots of interesting facts, but somehow when you tell them to other people they won't sound so interesting any more and everyone will just stand around in an uncomfortable silence.
Brighten up a dull week by winding up a builder. Tell him you want something like a cross between a pergola and a conservatory, and ask him to quote for building a purgatory on the back of your house.
It'll be one of those weeks where you hear lots of good jokes, but somehow when you tell them to other people they won't find them quite so funny and everyone will just stand around in an uncomfortable silence. Try not to get stuck in a conversation with a Leo at a party because you're both on a "crash and burn" type week.
You'll remember it's Mother's Day on Saturday night when it's too late to do much about it. Even this reminder won't help much, you're that disorganised.
Try not to do any of the following activities in a particularly accident-prone week: skydiving, bear-baiting, lion-taming, beekeeping, sudoko.
Try not to get pregnant this week as any baby will have a birthday far to close to Christmas and you know all too well how annoying that is.
By Thursday, you'll probably start hearing the phrase "But didn't you spend last night watching football?". If you're a female then you may find yourself saying this phrase.
You may learn on Tuesday that your front room is on a public footpath and you'll have to let people with beards, walking boots and anoraks through the front room while you're trying to watch telly. It's probably best just to move the telly.
I bought some batteries from Duracell a while ago and only today noticed a "Win world cup prizes" label on the back if I went to a web address and entered a promotional code. So I went to the site and had to enter my name and e-mail address, and make sure I hadn't ticked the 'send me spam' box, and then after half a dozen Flash loading screens I got to enter my promotional code and was told I'd won 'a prize'. So, more details to enter, a 'yes I'd like to subscribe' box (only fair, I was getting a prize), and then a screen telling me I can't won a top prize, but I could download their screensaver. What a con! I was only expecting a pen or something rubbish anyway, but now I've had the ultimate bad brand experience where they've tricked me into giving over my details.
So, no more Duracell batteries for me.
And I bet you've had loads of spam in the meantime. B*st*rds! I shall be buying Morrisons own batteries from now on.
posted by : March 29, 2006 12:33 PM
Scientists have developed artificial, super-strength muscles which are powered by alcohol and hydrogen.
So we've had the sensationalist headline and introductory paragraph. Are we all going to be Steve Austin by the end of the year? Apparently not:
However, neither of the types developed by the Texan researchers resembles a normal muscle - being made up of wires, cantilevers and glass bottles.
3/10: Could do better.
BBC NEWS | Health | Scientists make 'bionic' muscles
US scientists have coaxed strands of DNA, the molecule that holds the "code of life", to take up a shape that resembles the Americas.
They've also made some smiley faces. Who's paying for this?
BBC NEWS | Science/Nature | Nanotech discovers the Americas
The Daily Telegraph Fantasy Football password for 15th March 2006 is LINK.
Telegraph Fantasy Football login page
Horoscopes for the week starting Monday 13th March 2006:
On Friday you'll be thinking about taking a cheap city break. Thoughts of Paris will make you wonder why they didn't realise how much of a laughing stock they would be when they built the Blackpool Tower.
Try not to sleep with your mouth open this week as it's an open invite to the spiders in your bedroom. Maybe it's best not to think about it. You may also have trouble sleeping now.
Don't forget to watch 'The Apprentice' on BBC2 on Wednesday as everyone in the office will be talking about it on Thursday and you don't want to be left out.
You may find your eyes change colour on Wednesday. This is quite unusual for anybody but it's going to be especially weird if it really does happen to 1/12th of the world's population.
You'll have a sneaking suspicion that somebody's got it in for you this week. Never trust a sneaking suspicion as they are, by definition, sneaky. Only trust honest suspicions from now on.
Towards the end of the week you'll have trouble getting really comfy on the sofa. Somehow, the cushions are just going to be all wrong but don't worry as this won't last much past Saturday.
You've got a lot of work to do this week so probably shouldn't be wasting the time by reading horoscopes. Although, if this advice makes any difference then maybe the time is well spent. Life's full of contradictions like that.
You'll walk past at least three people in the street called Roger this week, although you won't know who they are. Rogers are often like that.
You should vow not to do anything by halves this week, unless you're a football player or work behind a bar or do any kind of job which requires accurate, equal subdivisions.
Don't let a door-to-door salesman convince you to change electricity supplier this week. It will only save about 20p per year and you'll feel like a utility whore for switching so often and being pursuaded so easily.
For the first half of the week Osiris will be your favourite Egyptian god, but in the second half of the week you're likely to switch to Horus. Worshipping Ra is just to mainstream for the independent thinking Aquarian.
On Wednesday you'll go to work and for some reason think it's Thursday. When someone reminds you it isn't try not to act too disappointed, especially if your boss is around. On the bright side, 'The Apprentice' is on BBC tonight.
Why go to a pound shop when you can save a penny by going to the 99p shop instead? Just think how the savings add up - buy 99 crap things, get 1 free.
Leytonstone High Road has a 95p shop. It was 85p for a while when the new 'posh' £1 supermarket opened up but it must have hurt their margins so they went back up to 95p.
posted by Bealers : March 12, 2006 7:41 PM
The Telegraph Fantasy Football password for Wednesday 8th March until Tuesday 14th March is CHAIN.
hi any idea what todays password is ?
posted by : March 29, 2006 2:32 PM
It's Blank. Thanks for the reminder!
posted by 
Karl Bunyan : March 29, 2006 2:37 PM
Leyton Orient ground out a 1-0 win against Cheltenham playing some football that was a long way from some of the flowing, controlled style that has been a feature of their game this season. We'll take points anyway they come, especially at this end of the season, and the win takes Orient up one place to fourth in League Two.
Glyn Garner can take a lot of credit for keeping the O's in the game at all, let alone ahead, and the Cheltenham supporters really will be going home saying 'we woz robbed', and justifiably so. They had the better chances, and the better build-up play too. Orient weren't abysmal by any means and did create a few chances but it's an interesting time for the club with a few players vieing for first team choice, plus injuries and suspensions (Shane Tudor and John Mackie respectively) giving some of the younger players a chance to show what they can do. In this case, young Demetriou showed some good skills and effort, if not enough to keep Tudor out, and Tann certainly played well in central defence.
More surprising was the quiet game from Craig Easton who had been missed recently. Also interesting was the starting pair-up of Ibehre and Connor up-front, with Gary Alexander only being brough on as a substitute. Conner showed what a good player he is again and although the pairing himself and Jabbo appeared to be working quite well, Alexander instantly made a good showing for himself when he was brought on and I wouldn't be surprised to see him starting by right next match.
In the end, it was a scrabbled goal that gave us the three points. Despite the fairly good points haul lately, there are some worrying signs that we're riding our luck slightly and somehow still not scoring enough which is going to be a problem if it comes down to goal difference. Still, there are some very interesting home matches coming up that are likely to prove the deciders for the automatic promotion places. There are a few must win games coming up so we can't complain at getting the points that weren't really deserved.
BBC SPORT | Football | League Two | Leyton Orient 1-0 Cheltenham
BBC SPORT | Football | My Club | Leyton Orient | Ling likes Leyton Orient's spirit
This video short is very well made. It's the intro from "The Simpsons", but made with real people.
This is a highly entertaining story about a prisoner who has been banned from buying magic books in case he's doing it just to help plan an escape attempt.
I would have thought the only real risk will be if he learns David Copperfield's 'flying' act to sail over the prison walls.
BBC NEWS | England | Jailed killer's magic books ban
Horoscopes for the week starting 6th March 2006:
On Wednesday, most of the cashpoints along the high street will have been vandalised overnight, so make sure you get enough money out on Tuesday. (Assuming the other star signs don't read this and empty the cash machines first.)
Not all that glitters is made of gold; some things glitter just because they've had some glitter dropped on them. This will be a particularly bad week if you are Gary Glitter (birthday: 8th May).
Make sure you check your change before you leave the newsagents as mistakes cannot always be rectified once you have left the cashier.
Try not to spend too much time resolving the conflicting messages of the sayings "Fools rush in where angels fear to tread" and "Fortune favours the brave". Instead, find inspiration from Nike: "Just do it".
Leo may be king of the jungle, but can what sort of creature is king of an urban jungle, and are you that creature? Oooh, profound. (If you do live in a real jungle, just be yourself.)
If you know a few Germans called Hans and have a broken light fitting, this could be an ideal time to put them to use. Remember: many Hans make light work.
Try not to spend too much time resolving the conflicting messages of the sayings "A bird in the hand is worth two in the Bush" and "Nothing ventured, nothing gained". Instead, take inspiration from financial small print: "The value of investments may go down as well as up."
Try not to get out of bed on the wrong side this week, especially if your bed is next to a wall or a lion pit.
Try not to get on the wrong side of anyone this week, especially if they're standing on the edge of a platform and there's a train coming.
You noticed that Capricorn One was on telly the other night. What a good film that was. Next time, why not watch it to learn where the entire Capricorn race came from.
Remember the song "The age of Aquarius". Well, unfortunately you won't be able to get a free honorary copy, so don't bother asking in HMV.
Try not to watch too many cowboy films this week. This won't badly affect your week but it's generally a bit of a waste of time, unless it's a good one.
The Telegraph Fantasy Football password for the week starting 1st March is CROSS.
Any idea of the password from the 8th March, 2006 ?
posted by : March 10, 2006 1:29 PM
26.04.06 Ladder
posted by : April 26, 2006 12:06 PM
